This, that and etcetra

As I mentioned in my the last post, that I'll be talking about two most hilarious incidents of my bachelors time, so here is the second one. This involves me and one of my great buddy with whom I had similar kind of several other experiences. We all call him Pahadi. Never ask me why ?? Usually, I define Ankit Kamboj as a big prankster, bigger time passer and biggest extravagant.

We were three guys living in a flat in the third year of our bachelors, me and kamboj sharing the same room and sometimes same T-shirts and sweat-shirts (nothing more then that). Since, CAD had been introduced to us, we decided to make the final project of that semester on AutoCAD. I didn't had computer at that time. So, I use to work on the Ankit's PC and so did he himself.

My work was going fine and I had the same impression for Ankit as well. Actually, I had learnt to live in misconceptions by that time. Two days before final Viva, that happened which made a chill ran down to our spine. RAM of the computer crashed. And why wouldn't it be ? When you'll use your computer in complete barbaric manner, it will definitely pay you back. What to do now ? College's computer lab would already be engaged by other students. So we started checking out our luck by calling people for computer. Firstly, our demand was confined to allow us to use their computers. But, that went unheard. Who will give his machine at the eleventh hour of work? Since, this didn't work out, we decided to rephrase our demand. This time, we shamelessly started asking for “extra RAM”. Many of them must be having two RAMS in their CPU. So, they could give us one. Big deal?? Yes, it was. Asking for an extra RAM is no different then asking for a kidney. This time we even faced abrupt call cuts.

That night, we both were having dinner at our PG. I personally went up to the limit of imagination where I was wearing only a pair of bermudas, drenched in sweat, 'iodex' vapors coming out of my back and I am drafting all the sheets on cartridge and Kamboj sleeping in a corner,using his CPU as a pillow. When we were searching for daal in the water, one guy came and joined us in dinner. He also use to live in the same PG. I had seen him but never talked to him. I don't know what went into Ankit's mind and he asked him “Do you have an extra RAM ?”. It took him almost eighty seconds to evaluate the question.

I was still having the last chapati, when Kamboj and that guy went outside and had some chat. On return, Ankit told me that he managed to get 64 MB RAM from that guy. I was surprised. When every one refused, who was this living legend. Very soon I came to know that guy had only a CPU and no monitor, and somehow Kamboj came to know this. By his ever fantastic convincing power, he won over him.

We started our work, in sessions. When i was on desktop, Kamboj took a nap and vice versa. That was the last night of our work, because the next morning we had our viva at sharp 10 am. I completed my work at 7 pm and invited Kamboj to take the charge. He suggested that I should go to sleep, meanwhile he'll complete his part. And we planned to leave for printing shop by 9pm. Two hours were sufficient for me to venture into my dreams and ample enough for Kamboj to erect his castle.

“Wake up Himanshu...wake up. Lets go for printing”. Someone was shaking me from my dreams. Oh, thats Ankit. I woke up. But why there is so silence all around. 9 pm never use to be like that. I asked him, what's the time. Just 1 am !! Are you crazy ?? I am sleeping for the last 6 hours. In 9 hours we have our viva and our sheets are not printed yet. Manual drafting is also not an option now. Ankit was calm. We'll make it man. Lets go. Oh yaa, I forgot to tell. This complete drama is going in killing winters of the month of december.

We called one of our senior for his bike to go to delhi for printing. He immediately replied – why not. Come and take it ! Superb. Me and Kamboj started walking towards his flat. Some dogs were barking in the background. I told Kamboj “Man, I am really afraid of dogs”. He said, they are just dogs man. Never run in front of them. If they come closer, just stay at your position. Oh ya, not again. After few minutes, barking started to become louder. More louder. Oh my god. The fleet is coming in our direction. Kamboj advised, Himashu just stay where u are. **** you !! I don't want punctures in my butts. And, I ran..ran and ran and climbed on a railing wall, getting my legs scratched to the bricks.

I followed Kamboj on road, jumping from one wall onto other, finally reaching to our senior's house. He was having a nice liquor fiesta with one of his friend. He told that you may take the bike but just get it filled with petrol. What ?? The bike don't have petrol. Then what he invited us for. I saw another bike, which was of that senior's friend. He simply said no, when I was about to open my mouth. After much struggle he agreed to go to a petrol pump near by to bring some fuel for the dead one.

We were on the road. Luckily two of our other friends also joined us on their bike. They were the same cool dudes. We all were heading to Noida, where one of our friend was waiting for all of us at his home. We had to join him in his car to go to Ladoo Sarai for printing. By the time we reached to that petrol pump, it was closed. So, our tank had only that much gas feed by a Cola bottle.

Noida was 20 min away, when our bike took his last breath. She was dead again and I was thinking to go into a melodramatic mode, surpassing Nirupa Roy – hindi cinema's tragedy queen. Now what ? An idea clicked into one of the four guys. Ankit took the steering, I sat behind holding the hand of another friend sitting at the back of second bike controlled by another friend. And, they dragged us causing hell of strain in our hands. This didn't not work out. Humans can not drag but a machine can push !! Now we both were sitting on our bike. Those two sitting on their bike. Their front tyre aligned with our rear tyre. And vroooommmm...Bike at the back pushing bike in the front. What an idea sirji ! This didn't move our bike much but created a huge cloud of smoke.

Suddenly I saw a plastic mug lying on the road side. I brought it making the things self explanatory. We drew some fuel out of the second bike to transfuse into ours. Some kicks acted like electric shocks in the body of our bike and it came to life again. Tough it was making some funny sounds, but bike was not ours after all. Let it make, and after so much trouble it gave to us, those sounds were our retaliation. Finally we reached at our another friends house and from there to Delhi for printer shop. We came back on time and gave our viva with eyes partially opened.

When lightening strikes again and again

Many of you may disagree with me. But, also there is a community whose every single member will hail when I'll say “Architects lives are full of adventures and surprises”. Now its quite obvious which community I was talking about. Though, I completed my architecture course doing daydreaming and drinking pints of beer every fourth day (its way too less as per architecture students standards), but I also kept my creative instincts alive throughout the half a decade. Following is one incidence out of scores of events which depicts the misery and shock I underwent on two occasions.

We were working (actually not working) on a Railway Station design competition organized by ISDAG and TATA Steels. Date of submission was three days far. When we inspected quantum of our work, me and Bathla (its not an alien, just a weird surname of my dear friend) realized that printed sheets will not be even able to wrap all of our body parts. We have to do something. I called Ambrish (the third Lord) and to my surprise he refused to come. Lightening No.1. I thought we were friends. Me and Bathla yelled at him, showered all our blessing on him, collectively praised him, and finally hung up thinking that this will make him come. But, Ambrish...he didn't come. Lightening No.2.

Me and Bathla started with the work in the morning and Ambrish appeared from nowhere at noon. He brought with him-selves some stuffs, that was sufficient to pacify both of us. We three were friends again. The three musketeers. The next two days we worked like anything. But, lightening was waiting to strike again. We received the news that date of submission has been extended by one week. Lightening No.3. How could they do so? We are almost done. How could they put other losers, who are giving final touches to their design, on advantage. But, that was how it was. Finally, one week passed and Bathla-Ambrish duo left the home with all the sheets to submit them in the mentioned college. But, attendant slammed the door at their faces, said time of submission had been passed. What the fish !! They could give a week extension and not a couple of hours. Lightening No. 4. They begged, they pleaded, they tried and they even threatened. Finally they got succeeded. My boys !!

Month later, Bathla called me up and told that our design has been selected for final round to be held in Kolkata. Oh, we were on seventh heaven. For this round we just needed a model and a small presentation. We worked day and night to make our 'Ashiyana'. It was the best model we had ever seen. Better then those in Ftv. Because we made it. We were the architects of India's upcoming state-of-the-art Railway Station. But we were so much into model making that we completely forgot the presentation part. Lightening No. 5. No problem we'll make it during the journey on the laptop. That day we had our train at 6pm and next day we had our jury. We rapidly packed our model in a spare TV carton with all the stuffings we could think of.

We called one of friend to drop us at Railway Station ( a badly designed one). But, when it come to accommodate carton inside the car, we found that Maruti committed a serious mistake. They haven't provided enough opening either through doors or trunk for a TV Carton to get in. Lightening no. 6. We were getting late for train. Somehow, Ambrish showed his geometrical skills and did the job. But, only two lucky people could give company to that carton. One driver , of course and one more. Lightening No. 7. Me and Bathla took auto, Ambrish hopped inside the car.

And there were we. A railway station on time. To our excitement, our 3^rd tier RAC tickets were upgraded to 2^nd tier coach. Thanks Laluji. But, soon we realized that Maruti is not the only culprit. Railway coach manufacturers are equally stupid. Our TV carton was not getting inside the compartment. Lightening No. 8. So, we had to put it next to the toilet in the common area. Can you imagine. World's upcoming best of the best railway station was going to spent 16 hours next to a toilet.

Since, we were short of time, we immediately took out the laptop to make the presentation. Laptop's battery was about to be gone. So Ambrish stood up to plug it in. Lightening striked again. No.9. No sockets ! AC 2 tiers and no sockets !! Were they kidding to us !!! But, there was a life saver on board. Me !! Luckily, I took the extension board from home which we plugged in the main distribution board of the coach. By morning, our presentation was ready. Train was at halt at Bardhman station. Kolkata was couple of hours away. We were thrilled unknown to coming surprise.

Train started moving, all the way to Kolkata. Coach attendant came and asked us where is our carton ? What are you saying man ? Its resting all in peace next to toilet. No its not there. What the ****. We three rushed out of the compartment. No trace of the carton. Some one stole it. Lightening No. 10. That crook must have thought that he is grabbing a brand new television. But, no he took our dreams away. In fact, he made this country devoid of an idea of a greatest Railway Station.

We gave jury without a model. It was as if jury members were whispering in them – from where they caught these jokers who have come without any model. And we returned back, bare handed.